Kindness With THEM

Where did your dance take you this week?

My final week of Kindness was a very reflective week, so if I had to describe it as a dance, it would have been a slow waltz.  Steady, smooth, gentle rhythms lilting at the hem of my imagined sequenced gown, approaching each step with relaxed optimism, and a comfortable grin on my face.  Not only did this week include a trip back home to my beloved little town where I spent all of my growing up school years and also the home of many precious people who helped grow me, but I was able to dive deeper into the idea of hesed, or ‘loving-kindness’, through the next message from church.  In fact, the series is so spectacular in its depth, insight, relevancy, and impact, I thought I should just direct you to it, in case you want to check out the podcasts yourself, for additional processing of Kindness in your life.

Follow the links below my post to watch the videos.  Warning!  The series is entitled, “Sex and Money and the Story of Ruth”, but do not let that scare you, or entice you.  🙂

Okay, Loving-Kindness…..time to get real.  I did not know how important or deep this topic would go, could not have imagined that my actions or intentions would be falling into the realm of the divine, but this is the direction I was strongly, and clearly, lead.

After sensing my momentum increase from the initial week of planting seeds of Kindness without knowing if they would survive, and the next week having Kindness play a part in reconciliation with my estranged son, I was finally able to use these stories to gain a greater sense of Kindness through exploring Priorities, Personalities and Possibilities.  Leaving this week to fully embrace hesed and act boldly in kindness towards others.

I am a bit surprised by the outcome.  I am not doing anything too much differently than I was previous to my month long mission to become more Kind.  When I changed my language from feeling forced or obligated to act in a certain fashion, to describing it instead as a opportunity or privilege to have a chance to act, it changed how I saw things I was doing or needed to do.  The change happened with how I thought about my actions, and not the actions themselves.  Let me explain…..

Currently, there are 11 people….not a number I invented….whom I wanted to connect with over the course of this week, that I feel need some Kind acts from me, for a variety of reasons.  They have diverse needs.  Some are physically draining, some are emotionally difficult, some are time consuming, and some are hard to convince they need a little extra TLC to be okay, but I cannot get to them all.

I want to!

I run around, driven by an invisible whip, hounded to get to the next coffee date, frothing to complete the next detail, panicking to fulfill another favour, demanding I maintain or increase my relentless pace, until I start losing reasons why I should care.  What begins as an honest outpour of compassionate desire to lighten someone else’s load, turns into a crushing weight of an oxygen-burning overwhelm.

Hubby tries to settle me down when my eyes start circling inside their sockets, I cannot remember where I put down my car keys, and I ask him the same question 4 times without remembering his answer.  He reminds me to breathe and take a moment to be still….and it helps.  Sometimes he reminds me we are best friends and best friends take time to hang out together, but in certain seasons, he just suggests I sit down and watch NFL with him…but hey….he is a guy!  He shares what works for him!

After I start to wonder why I should care so much about rescuing or relieving heartaches of others, guilt floods in to fortify another wave of desperate efforts to be all I can for the people who I see wtihin my scope of care.

My January has been swamped with this, and normally turns into a very difficult time for hubby and I to endure, because I lose most of my sanity into the lives of others.  But this January is different.  This January I have a broader perspective on the Kindness that I show myself and my world.

Same burdens, same whip, same drive to do it all, but I am okay.  Hubby is okay.  What is the difference?  2 things.

1. I savour each connection by honoring a pre-determined allotment of time, sometimes having to schedule down-time, in order to regain enough energy to serve again.
2. I act in faith that I am the hands and heart of God.

Wait a second!  That sounds a little conceited, right?  God….or whatever word works for you here, to represent the Divine, the Creator, or the soulful ‘spirit-ness’ of humanity….whatever that is…..it is BIG.

I….am not big. But I can think big, act bigger, and love biggest when starting from a place of purpose.  I may have just stumbled upon a path that points toward my true purpose for living….which is BIG for me and the closest thing I can imagine, to accepting my destined role in this universe.

This is the crucial reframe.  I offer the nutty, busy ‘serve, love, care’ circuit because it is my purpose and I get to live that purpose when I believe God can work His magic through me, regardless of my service record.  Many great role models have already shown this can exist in the world, so I will let their words spark into your imagination, where I hope you may find inspiration for your purpose.

Here are some of the Greats:

No special skills required.  No degrees or diplomas necessary.  Only grace and love….or in this weeks terms….loving-kindness.  The strongest, gentlest, message we can send to a hurting world.

And finally….

This. Is. True.

I have found more about who I need to become and how I need to get there, when pouring myself into the lives of others.  It is not a reckless pour, a sacrificing abandonment of all that I am for the good of another. Rather, it is a pendulum that swings, side to side, filling up each equally, as it turns to deliver endlessly, more and more.

Thank you, Kindness.  You have given me purpose.

AJ