A Blog is Born

Being 52 weeks away from the same age my mother was when she succumbed to brain cancer, is weighing on me heavily. I have had many years to think about her passing, 24 to be exact.  A few years ago I passed the milestone of living more years on this earth without her, than with her.  She was 47 years old when she died, seemingly ancient, in my then, 22 year old mind. Yet so very, VERY young, in my now, 46 year old understanding. She was not there for my college graduation, or my wedding day, or present for any of my children being brought into this world. Her life ended before mine really began. She did not get a time span adequate enough to pass along important details to me, for in my youth, I was not listening. Attempts to recall meaningful moments of her quiet life, have faded over the years, only a few nuggets remaining from younger years spent trying to be nothing like my mother.

As my age creeps up, I feel a desire to release stiffening weathered bits and pieces, growing ridges inside of me from traumatic storms of my past. I am challenging these unwelcome ruts. Defying their grooves, dug deep into my heart. A heart that wants deeper warmth. Needs infinite hope. Demands ultimate freedom.


if 52 weeks IS the remaining space I have on this earth to create a life I believe worthy to live,

if 52 weeks IS what is left to say and do important things with the ones I love,

if 52 weeks IS the last of how the rest of the world sees who I was, what I stood for, why I made the choices I did,

…..then I had better get started!

I will have many reminders to keep me on track throughout this 52 week roadmap. I have 2 baskets, one empty, and one filled with 52 items that were my mum’s or were given to me by her. I will set these in a central part of my home, to visually remind myself of the reflections and actions I must take throughout the weeks.

Empty BasketFull Basket

Each week, one item will be chosen and used daily during that week, then placed into the other basket. At the end of 52 weeks, the empty basket will be full, and I will have reached my destination.   There will also be sticky notes, mantras, theme songs, all on the agenda for making this a fun, enlightening, and ultimately impactful year for myself and any others who might choose to take this journey with me.

I have many fears of failing, not being able to commit to this course, some feelings or discoveries being too daunting or scary to face. Not to mention finding the time it takes to record and evaluate any outcomes for a successful completion of this undertaking. But I close my eyes, breath deep, listen to a dialogue sounding from deep within.  It is a calling that has been waiting for an answer, and fear slips away. It must be now.

No more waiting. No more wondering if this IS my best life. No more wondering if I can BE my best. I can. I must. I have 52 weeks to discover it.

Finding 52 Begins HERE

Show comments

Join the discussion

13 replies to “A Blog is Born”

  1. […] It was from ME – inside of me, a stirring and storming of painful memories, with stiff, uneasy emotions […]

  2. […] again, it COULD be the last time we are in synch to pull off this kind of coordinated effort. So, in Finding 52 fashion….let’s celebrate it […]

  3. […] true Finding 52 fashion, I am in the midst of a shifting view, for my role as a parent.  My attitude toward […]

  4. […] second pillar is tackling the stigma and mystery shrouding victims of Domestic Abuse.  Combing through this quagmire consumed lots of my reflection during the early Weeks of […]

  5. […] Well, well, well….there is much to wrap up!  So much growth and healing has transpired during this adventure, it is hard to capture in 1300 words or less.  Even though I have included lots of photos to help capture pivotal moments,  I simply must have two posts to cover it all!  Hopefully you will bear with me a few more times, as I attempt to dissect all the goodness it has been my pleasure to know, in these dynamic and brilliant 52 Weeks. […]

  6. […] 51….the second last post of this incredible 52 Week discovery and the continuation of my LAST topic, Creativity….was supposed to be light […]

  7. […] is Week 41!  Which means, there are only 3 Topics and 11 Weeks left, in my 52 Week Quest toward growing into a better version of myself. […]

  8. […] Let’s just say, Mum would like it.  And since I do not have an icon to use this week….Week 35….no item saved that would connect to her ‘green’ side….a […]

  9. […] is hard to believe I have only 18 weeks left in my 52 week challenge. This is the second week of Strength, with a focus of being Strong with YOU. Last post, I shared […]

  10. […] 33 brings a NEW topic and a great moment in Finding 52’s timeline.  Yes, it marks my birthday, which is always a fantastic reason to celebrate….just […]

  11. […] for Finding 52!  Onward to the second phase of my mission….of becoming my best self, having my best life, and honoring the gal who brought me into […]

  12. […] and my larger surrounding community.  They started out on tempo like most other weeks in this 52 Week Discovery.  I started writing on my regular day more than a week ago.  I was upbeat and full of […]

  13. […] matters that might possibly jeopordize relationships within my family….no, no! The mission is to live, love, think, and act boldly, not to wreck a delicate framework of family carefully […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.