This week I am exploring what it means to be patient with the people I have within my immediate proximity. Family members, friends, and work colleagues are all regular participants in a circle of people that intersect throughout my day. I bump into these people consistently enough, but not necessarily in a consistent manner. I would like to influence my ratio of negative interactions, compared to positive, in a fairly significant way. I have often heard people say, “it’s not what you say to people that matters, but how you make people feel.” Too many times, I suspect I have left the ones to whom I am closest, feeling like they were not accepted, not loved, they did not belong, or did not live up to my standard. I have justified this behaviour by patting myself on the back for not SAYING anything to the person, keeping my tongue tight so not to show how much I disapprove of their actions. AND I have told myself this is acceptable because I think that person(who likely sees me every day, probably knowing me better than I know myself at times) has no idea how I truly feel. I convince myself they are oblivious to clues of my opposing internal indicators that suggest, Big Mama ‘ain’t happy wit cha’.
I would like to leave more people inside my intimate scope, with undoubtedly positive feelings to remember. I am not entirely sure how I will measure this outcome, other than to evaluate my own feelings of the situation, determining whether I happily recall the encounter, in order to point to success . Or, if an interaction was not sitting well with me, and I ruminate about it endlessly instead of dismissing it, perhaps even verbally complaining, in order to express my feelings are not right, that might provide some measure of how accurately I am hitting my mark this week.
The icon I will be using this week is a baby bonnet of my mum’s. Approximately 71 years old, it lies inside a woody aromatic, cedar chest, alongside many other mementos connected to people I love. I also have items preserved, from my growing years, within this chest…. like:
*Ballet slippers/Tap shoes/Jazz oxfords,
*Old diaries from junior high school,
*School projects I was particularity fond of,
*Posters and décor from my family farmhouse room,
*A pair of deeply faded Levi’s jeans I would love to fit into some day,
*Some books I read as a pre-teen and wanted to share with my kids, but didn’t….
clearly another space in my house in need of some hoarding control! (No judging, patient ME… haha! )
This bonnet, being old and fragile, will have to be held inside a clear baggie this week, if I am to carry it as a reminder. It has a matching sweater and booties with delicate pink ribbons, and if that isn’t cute enough, there is a whole other set, as mum was born as a twin. Her sister is a great ‘collector’ of antiques, too, so if you are reading this Aunty R….I don’t know anything about any crocheted booties!
Looking forward to finding ways to be patient with my ‘besties’ this week. Hubby should like that!
AJ
